That 1:4 match in the early morning really woke me up like a blunt blow. 😵‍💫

Now when I look at my account, I don't feel anger, but deep helplessness. 🤦‍♂️

I didn't bet on that match, but looking at that score feels like looking at my gold short position—I clearly won, but then I slept through it. 😴

I'm holding a short position at 4086.

Originally, the take-profit was firmly set at 4067—that was a guaranteed profit, enough for half a month's rent for my shop. 💰

But then I had a brain fart, thinking I could make a few more dozen points, and manually changed the take-profit to 4055. 🤏

Later, the price did come down, hitting a low of 4064.

Damn! Just 3 dollars short! 😡

The most infuriating thing is, if I had been awake at that moment, I would definitely have manually closed the position at 4064.

But I was too tired—had a lot of work at the shop during the day, dead sleepy. I thought, "I've set the stop-loss and take-profit, go to sleep," then I fell asleep, and when I woke up, the position was still stuck at 4086. 📉

The worst part? I can't even stop out and leave now! 🚫

Gold market is closed. ⛔

Stop-loss is hanging at 4101, but the market is closed—and during the first few minutes of Monday's opening, liquidity is extremely poor, take-profit and stop-loss orders are essentially useless. I've been stripped of even the chance to accept the loss and exit. All I can do is stare helplessly and wait to take the hit. 👀

I just stared blankly at that low of 4064.

In that instant, what came to mind wasn't "what a pity," but "it's over, why did I get greedy for those few dozen points?" 🤦‍♂️

I even guessed the market's hand correctly, but because I was too tired and wanted to slack off, I turned myself from a winner into a lamb waiting to be slaughtered. 🐑

At that moment I realized I'm not an investor at all—I'm just a gambler being dragged around by life. 🎲

During the day I'm exhausted running the shop like a dog; at night I try to recoup through trading. When I win, I think it's too little; when I lose, I hold on stubbornly, until I can't take it anymore and shut down to sleep. 📴

Now I'm looking at Ethereum, still calculating if I can get some back. 🤑

But looking at that low of 4064, and that position that can't move because the market is closed, I suddenly feel ridiculous:

If I can turn a winning position into a loss just by falling asleep, what makes me think I can win it back on Ethereum? 🙃

After writing this, I won't say crap like "I'm quitting."

I'll just set three rules for myself: From now on, once I enter a position, set the take-profit and stop-loss and don't touch a finger—if I do, cut off my hand; never add to a position to average down; never open a new position in this state of mind.

The money is lost, that's tuition for stupidity. Even if rent is hard, there's always a way to get by. As long as I'm not broken and the shop is still there, there's still hope. But if I go crazy and ruin the shop, then I'll truly have nothing. 🙅‍♂️

This 1:4 is a wake-up call, 4086 is a pillar of shame, and that low of 4064 is the most expensive lesson of my life.

From now on, I'll honestly run the shop, have fewer crooked thoughts, and only earn money that lets me sleep peacefully. 🏪

#交易员的自我修养 #贪心不足蛇吞象 #拒绝手贱