$RAVE I’ve accepted it. I’ve been playing for a few years, and this year I lost even the last bit of my savings. Now I don’t have a job either. Last year I made the decision not to play anymore—but in the end, I still played in secret. I always thought I was smart, and I looked down on my wife’s honesty and being straightforward and dependable. I didn’t dare to try. Now I’ve finally realized that I’m the one who’s the real dumbass. Wishing those who stay behind can continue to contend with fate and battle the weak points of human nature.

All of it is gone—every last bit of the savings from these past two years, more than 30,000 yuan. It’s all gone. I’m not playing anymore. I’m going to go to work properly and save a little money down to the last detail. Cherish life and stay away from contracts. Now I only have a few bucks on me—I can’t even buy cigarettes.

I fucking get married next month, and I’ve already lost all the bride price money as well. What am I supposed to do? I’ve already taken out every loan I can—every little loan I can get. Next month on the 25th we’re getting married, and now I don’t know what to do. I even have thoughts about wanting to die.